5 signs your online girlfriend might be a scammer

Recent reporting and fraud data suggest that romance scams affect both men and women, although the experience may look slightly different. In Australia, more men reported romance scams in 2025 (55.5% compared with 37.4% for women), while women experienced a larger share of financial losses overall (61.6%).*

Key takeaways

• Romance scams affect both men and women, but vulnerability is shaped more by emotions, timing, and context than gender

• Online romance scams are evolving and may involve fake identities, AI-generated photos, voice messages, or edited videos

• Fast intimacy, urgency, and emotional pressure are common warning signs

• Requests for money, secrecy, account access, verification codes, or private content deserve extra caution
• AI and deepfake technology are making some romance scams harder to detect, making verification more important than ever

“The only person who understands you” could be fake

In 2025, scammers using emotional manipulation stole more than $3.8 million from Western Australians through romance scams, with people aged 65 and over recording the highest losses of any age group.

Researchers and anti-scam organizations increasingly suggest that romance scams are often less about gender and more about emotional context. Loneliness, life transitions, curiosity, recent breakups, stress, wanting connection, or simply enjoying attention can all make someone more vulnerable at the right moment.

At the same time, romance scams are changing. Someone pretending to be your online girlfriend or boyfriend may use stolen photos, AI-generated selfies, and videos, polished voice notes, or carefully scripted conversations to appear more real, more attentive, and more available than ever before. Some scams begin as romance and later shift into investment opportunities, emergencies, subscriptions, requests for money, or attempts to collect personal information.

We use the term “online girlfriend” in this article because it’s a common way people describe these experiences online. But the same warning signs can apply to an online boyfriend, romantic interest, companion, or someone you met through social media, gaming, communities, or dating apps.

5 Signs Your Online Girlfriend Might Be a Scammer

Whether someone calls herself your online girlfriend, companion, soulmate, there are a few patterns worth paying attention to.

1. She becomes emotionally close unusually fast

A connection can happen quickly, but scammers often accelerate intimacy on purpose. They may tell you they’ve never felt this way before, say you understand them better than anyone else, mention deleting dating apps, or talk about love surprisingly early.

Ask yourself: If I remove the compliments, attention, and intensity, how much do I actually know about this person?

2. Something always prevents real-life proof or meetings

Occasional schedule conflicts, missed calls, or awkward timing are normal. But if there is always a reason why meeting in person never happens, video calls stay unusually short, the camera never works, or photos and videos look almost too polished to feel real, it may be worth paying attention: are they trying to create closeness while avoiding spontaneous interaction?

3. Money enters the conversation earlier than expected

In many romance scams, financial requests appear gradually and are framed as something temporary, reasonable, or even meaningful for the relationship. It may start with an emergency, a small favor, support for a business idea, help until payday, an investment opportunity, or even a request to subscribe somewhere as a way to show commitment or support.

Over time, these requests can become more frequent or emotionally loaded, making it harder to say no.

4. You start feeling pressure, guilt, or urgency

As the relationship develops, romance scammers often introduce pressure, guilt, secrecy, or a sense of urgency to make decisions happen quickly and reduce the chances that someone steps back or asks questions.

You may hear things like: “If you loved me, you would help”, “Please don’t tell anyone”, or “We need to act today”. If conversations with them leave you feeling increasingly anxious, pressured, responsible for solving crises, or afraid of disappointing the other person, it may be time to pause and look at the situation more objectively.

5. The relationship starts costing you emotionally, financially, or digitally

In a romance scam, some people lose money, others are manipulated into sharing passwords, private photos, identity documents, or access to their accounts. Some gradually become isolated from friends or family members who question the relationship or try to raise concerns.

And for many people, the impact continues long after the scam ends. Beyond financial losses, romance scams can leave people questioning their judgment, losing confidence, and finding it harder to trust future relationships.

Related:

Tips to protect yourself from romance and dating scams

Before you send money, photos, personal details, or become emotionally invested, pause and ask yourself:

• Have we had normal conversations outside emotional moments?

• Have we interacted live and in ways that feel natural?

• Would I advise a friend to do what I’m about to do?

• Have I independently checked the photos, story, or identity?

Then keep these practical habits in mind:

• Be cautious if someone repeatedly refuses to meet or interact live.

• Never send money, identity documents, banking information, passwords, or verification codes to someone you have not met face to face.

• Do not transfer money on behalf of someone else.

• Talk to friends or family about the relationship.

• Verify profile photos and details independently.

• Take your time and watch for inconsistencies. Pay attention to changing stories, repeated emergencies, avoiding direct answers, or pressure to move quickly.

• Trust your instincts, but also verify. If you feel too emotionally involved to stay objective, free tools can help provide a second opinion.

Bitdefender Scamio can analyze suspicious messages and situations, while Bitdefender Link Checker helps verify where links lead before you click. They won’t tell you whether someone is in love with you, but they may help identify signs of manipulation, impersonation, or fraud.

For families who want to help protect children, teenagers, adults, and older relatives without relying only on difficult conversations, a Bitdefender Family Plan adds an extra layer of protection against phishing, scam links, malicious websites, and other digital threats across the household.

FAQs

How do I know if someone online is real?

There is rarely one single sign. Instead, look at patterns over time. Ask whether you have interacted live, whether stories stay consistent, whether the relationship feels balanced, and whether there is transparency around identity. Be cautious if someone repeatedly avoids normal interaction or asks for trust much faster than they offer proof.

What are the biggest red flags in an online relationship?

Some of the most common warning signs include fast emotional closeness, avoiding video calls or meetings, requests for money or personal information, pressure to act quickly, secrecy, and conversations that leave you feeling responsible for solving repeated emergencies.

What should I do if I already sent money to someone online?

Stop sending additional money and avoid sharing more information. Save conversations, receipts, usernames, and screenshots. Contact your bank or payment provider as soon as possible and report the incident to relevant authorities. If account details, passwords, or identity documents were shared, secure those accounts immediately.

Can scammers use deepfakes to pretend to be an online girlfriend or boyfriend?

Yes. Some romance scammers now use AI-generated photos, voice notes, edited videos, or deepfake technology to make fake identities feel more real. While these tools are becoming more accessible, most scams still rely more on emotional manipulation than advanced technology. If someone avoids natural interaction, creates urgency, or asks for money, treat those behaviors as more important warning signs than appearances alone.