How to Talk to Your Child About Unrealistic Body Standards on Social Media

Social media can influence the way kids see themselves—and not always in a good way. A new study from the University of Waterloo found that most young people who use social media feel unhappy with their bodies. Researchers call this a global issue.

The study looked at more than 21,000 young people aged 10 to 17 across six countries (Australia, Canada, Chile, Mexico, the United Kingdom, and the United States) and found that 55% of teens are dissatisfied with their bodies. The more time they spend on social media, the worse those feelings become. Platforms that focus on images and videos, like TikTok, YouTube, and Snapchat, are linked to the highest levels of body dissatisfaction, while text-based platforms seem to have a smaller impact.

The research also showed that about 35% of teens feel “larger than ideal,” while 20% feel “thinner than ideal.” This isn’t just about wanting to look better—many kids are willing to go to extremes to achieve what they think is the “perfect” body.

A UK survey found that 40% of 12–18-year-olds worry about their bodies because of social media images. For girls, that number jumps to 54%. Worryingly, many teens say they would do “whatever it took” to look good. Some even consider strict diets, cosmetic surgery, or, in the case of some boys, steroids to reach their goals.

Experts warn that negative body image—persistent, harmful thoughts and feelings about one’s body—is linked to much more than insecurity. It can lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and risky behaviors. And even though many teens admit that social media hurts their mental health, they often find it difficult to log off.

Before you start the conversation, it’s important to understand what your child might be exposed to online.

For example, one major trend is SkinnyTok—a corner of TikTok filled with videos focused on very thin body types, extreme diets, and so-called “ideal” looks. These videos often promote unrealistic beauty standards. Many use filters, lighting tricks, and strategic angles to make bodies look slimmer, creating an image that’s far from reality. Once your child watches one of these videos, the TikTok algorithm is likely to show them more, pulling them deeper into this content.

But it’s not just girls being targeted. There’s a growing trend called “looksmaxxing” aimed at boys. This strict online ideology suggests that boys should constantly work to “maximize” their looks—often promoting the idea that they should have movie-star features: sharp jawlines, muscular arms, six pack abs. Under these expectations, boys are no longer permitted to simply present themselves as boys; instead, they are pressured to pursue an unattainable image.

How Unrealistic Body Standards Affect Kids

When kids are constantly exposed to content that promotes one type of body as “perfect,” many start comparing their own body to those unrealistic images. Over time, this comparison can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and in some cases, eating disorders.

Social comparison is powerful, especially during childhood and adolescence. If a child feels they can’t live up to what they see online, it can affect their confidence, friendships, and overall happiness. Left unchecked, these feelings can grow into bigger mental health challenges.

Poor body image doesn’t just impact self-esteem—it can change behavior, too. Research shows that children who feel unhappy with their bodies are less likely to participate in physical activities, including sports or even school Physical Education classes, because they worry about how they look. One UK survey found that over a third of girls and nearly a quarter of boys avoid certain activities for this reason.

On the other hand, teens who appreciate and accept their bodies tend to make healthier choices. They’re less likely to go on restrictive diets or engage in harmful behaviors to change their appearance.

Studies also link body dissatisfaction to more serious mental health risks. Teens who feel pressure to be thin or who constantly compare themselves to an “ideal” body type often experience symptoms of depression and anxiety, particularly if they already feel different from what society labels as attractive. For young people with higher body weight, this pressure can be even stronger, leading to greater feelings of shame and lower self-worth.

Extreme measures to control weight—like using diet pills, laxatives, or other dangerous methods—have been associated with suicidal thoughts in young women. Other research suggests that ongoing body image concerns may increase the risk of self-harm among teens who are already struggling emotionally.

Not every child who watches fitness or lifestyle videos online will develop body image issues, but there are some warning signs that suggest the content they’re seeing is starting to impact their self-esteem or behavior.

1. They make negative comments about their body

Phrases like “I feel fat,” “I hate how I look,” or “I need to lose weight” should be taken seriously. Even jokes about their body can signal deeper insecurity.

2. Changes in eating habits

If your child suddenly skips meals, eats far less than usual, or becomes very focused on calorie counting, it may be a sign they’re trying to control their weight in unhealthy ways. Some kids might start cutting out entire food groups, while others may avoid eating in front of others.

3. Obsession with appearance and body “goals”

Pay attention if they spend a lot of time in front of mirrors, frequently weigh themselves, or constantly check their body in photos and videos. For boys, this might show up as an intense focus on bulking up or getting more muscular.

4. Increased time on social media focused on body-related content

If your child is watching a lot of TikTok or Instagram videos about dieting, fitness, or “body inspiration” accounts, it can reinforce the idea that only certain body types are acceptable.

5. Withdrawal from activities

Some teens stop swimming, avoid PE, or shy away from social events because they feel uncomfortable in their body. This withdrawal is often a sign that body image concerns are affecting their confidence.

6. Mood changes

Feeling irritable, anxious, or sad more often—especially after using social media—can be another red flag. If they seem more self-critical or avoid conversations about how they look, it’s worth paying attention.

How you bring this up matters just as much as what you say. Pick a calm, private moment—not during an argument, not when they’re upset, and definitely not while they’re glued to their phone.

Start with curiosity, not criticism. Ask open questions that invite them to share their thoughts, like:

“What do you think about the videos you see on TikTok?”
“Have you ever seen something online that made you feel bad about how you look?”
“Do you think social media makes people feel pressure to look a certain way?”

Then give them space to answer. Really listen without cutting in or jumping to advice. Even if you disagree, let them finish. This isn’t about proving a point—it’s about showing you care and creating a safe place for them to open up.

You can share your own experiences, but keep the focus on them. Let them know it’s normal to feel this way and that what they see online isn’t always real. A little reassurance can go a long way.

Positive Messaging Strategies

The goal isn’t to ban social media but to help your child think critically about what they see. Here are a few ways to reframe the conversation:

Health over appearance: Remind them that being healthy is more important than looking a certain way.
Body diversity is real: Everyone’s body is different and largely shaped by genetics—not just effort.
Unrealistic images are common: Explain how filters, photo editing, lighting, and camera angles make people look “perfect” online.

When kids understand that what they see isn’t always real, those trends lose some of their power.

Help Them Curate a Healthier Feed

Encourage your child to unfollow accounts that make them feel bad and follow creators who promote body positivity, diversity, or focus on talents and interests beyond looks. This small change can make a big difference in how they feel after using social media.

You can also create a safer digital environment with the right tools. Bitdefender Parental Control can help you stay informed without invading your child’s privacy. It allows you to set healthy internet time limits, filter harmful content, and see how much time your teen spends on specific apps or types of content. This way, you can spot potential issues early and guide them toward a healthier balance.

When to Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, these concerns go deeper than a single conversation can fix. If your child starts avoiding food, shows signs of depression, or talks about their weight in extreme ways, it may be time to reach out for professional help. A counselor, therapist, or pediatrician can provide the right support and prevent the situation from getting worse.

Creating a Safe Space for Your Child

Talking to your child about body image isn’t a one-time discussion—it’s an ongoing conversation. Social media isn’t going away, and neither are the pressures that come with it. But your support can make a world of difference. Keep checking in, keep listening, and remind them that their worth isn’t tied to how they look.

Encourage healthy habits, model body confidence where you can, and help them see that what they see online is often far from reality. With open communication, positive reinforcement, and the right tools—like parental controls to create a healthier digital space—you can help your child navigate social media without losing sight of their true value.

Here are more articles from our "How to Talk with Kids About…" series—each one designed to help you explain tricky online topics in a way that makes sense to your child:

How to Talk to Your Child About Unrealistic Body Standards on Social Media